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So, I'm out there a lot. I mean, I'm active on FetLife, on CS, on POF, on OkCupid, on CL. I got to munches. I attend events. I'm out there.
I meet a lot of people.
Amazing, crazy hot, kinky people.
And they almost all ask the inevitable question:
Where do I find _______?
It could be "an amazing FemDom," or "a real dominant man," "a babygirl princess," or even "someone who enjoys ageplay?"
My answer is EVERYWHERE.
We are everywhere. Truly.
You just gotta put yourself out there and trust the process.
And you're going to do a lot of work and meet a lot of people. And it's going to take time and it;s going to seem like it's all for nothing.
Until it's not.
Because meeting that ONE person or those people that you want int your life (as friends, as lovers, and soul mates, or whatever) is WORTH it.
And you'll get better at meeting people.
At talking to them online. At introducing yourself to new people at events. You'll streamline the process. You'll put in less time as you go, and get better results.
And you'll hit a tipping point.
Tipping Point: the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point
And, suddenly, you'll realize you've found what you're looking for. In your life, in your community, in your lovers.
It's easy to be tempted to give up.
Don't give up.
I know someone who's been to 3-4 local events. They were asking if I thought they were cut out for this lifestyle, if they fit in, and whether they would find what they were looking for. This is not the first time I've been asked this. Not even the first time this month.
I'll tell you what I tell people every time I hear that...
When I started coming to Raleigh events, I just showed up. I didn't make friends fast. I didn't play. I didn't meet lovers or partners, or whatever. I just showed up.
For a year.
I got a feel for things, I watched how people interacted. In that year, I made a handful of friends. Maybe 10.
The next year, I made 200 more. And I was happy. I had found my people. My friends circle.
I found my tipping point.
And another 6 months after that, I met my Pet. And that has been amazing.
All because I put myself out there, everywhere. Because I didn't give up. And because I found my people (or they found me—I love you all).
And you know what, your tipping point probably won't take a year.
After all, I was entering a community I lived 2 hours away from, which cut down on my availability. I was able to get to one or two events per month for that first year, and I counted myself lucky for it.
I was pretty damn shy and awkward. I still am, but I'm better at hiding it now.
And, frankly, since I don't play much in public, it also cut down on my interaction possibilities.
I bet you've got it WAY better than I do in at least one of those areas...
And if you don't, and you need a wingwoman... Say hello. I'll see how I can help, if I can. Because we all deserve to find our people.