Conan surprises fake Italian and real CONAN employee Jordan Schlansky with a trip to Italy. #ConanItaly premieres April 11th at 10/9c on TBS.
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It’s been a while but I think the area responsible for speech is in the frontal lobe so if Conan was stab Jordan through his eye, it would work. Also, the back of the brain, the occipital lobe is responsible for vision.
I honestly think the stories and shows that Conan did with Jordan is some of his funniest stuff ever produced. It's like the most odd of odd couples, and not only Conan, but Jordan make it so damn hilarious.
No longer trying to win me over...
Conan has said "he's a threat to every Irishman in the world". That's a bit extreme. Anyways on account of that, Conan really is acting as the white flag for AAAYYEEEE-RRIIISSSH people, presenting himself on my Youtube home page as the wholesome face of every AYYYEEE-REEEEESSH men. Ouuwww....
I used to respect you Conan, not in an elitist way that you are intelligent & a Harvard grad, but because you stood up to the liberal cause. You even have a staff that is very diverse. One that you're not shy to display. I even for a while wanted to believe the Jordan Schlansky character was real, but now it's become apparent that it's all a lie to really capture the millennial crowd. I don't think you're a despicable person, I just wish you'd just buzz off, but you won't.
So here's what I'd do. For every single time a video of yours makes it way to my home page, to that video I will post this exact comment, copy-paste, verbatim.
Let's play this game.
Why am I suddenly behaving badly? Not that I'm super nice online, even. People just created this memory of a super pleasant, stupid nice guy that they know so well, as if the memory is real. At the very least, even the dumbest (¹) will remember how horrible people were to me. For what? Nearly a decade? People just can't stand the memory of how they were so they just replaced it with the "memory" that I've always been this super nice, caring, sweet, forgiving guy that doesn't even care what you do to! I'll just forgive you no matter what! I'd just keep smiling! He's Filipino! Filipino are just like that! A point that these irish hijacked to no end. "Ouwwhhh, he's just this bhoy. Always just eager to please! He just wants everybody happy! It's always about kindness & helping each other out with his people".
How do the irish know? Coz the irish are the Whites most like Filipinos, the irish say! I'd say it's the Spanish, but the irish will not have anything to do with them. So, eerrhhh? On conversations between the irish & Filipinos it will be unusual to ever bring up similarities, unless it mentions me. That really is only when the irish say that Filipinos are most like them. But it does solve a few issues....
Look! The Whites aren't being racists! His people are compared to another White group! Seems like the irish can just manage the mess that this person has created. At this realization, suddenly, Whites do see that the most common of them (conveniently not having to use Italians, which are a little bit too discriminated themselves) & his people are indeed similar!... Well, not see, as more as feel. It eases them. When I point out that, "no, I don't identify with you, in fact you people are doing the worst to my family...", but, the gossiping of the irish were quick to take,
"Ouwwhh... He is a very screwed-up, self-hating person that always withdraws to himself & always say 'sooorry!' (²). He just feels so, so irish that he just can't help it! He identifies so much to us, that he hates us. We know these things about him... We're the ones that knows most about this bhoy... It is! It is indeed as so many people are saying now, he really just wants everybody to be happy & smiling! Ouuwhh yes, he loves the irish face. He likes his face plump & round like maize walliams! Ouuuwwwh, he doesn't really mean it when he said this! Like we said, this is a very, very conflicted bhoy. He's acting out on you on something else that he feels about himself! Yes, yes.. Oh, no, no... It's not because of what you did or said to him"
Even the part that I said that the irish are doing the worst to us was being discarded. It's only being un-omitted now. Because of the insistence of the gossiping of them (no shortage there) that it's being drowned out & it's really hard to show that the worst cops & most psychics are irish.
¹ That aren't Vancouverites.
² I did say sorry a lot when I was working at Pet Habitat.
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